It was a big day. I had just picked up the books for my debut self-published poetry collection. I was alone and sat quietly in my car thumbing through the book, brushing my hands tenderly over the cover. It felt akin to what I did to the precious faces of my newborn babies when they first arrived. The fondness I feel for this book may not quite match those loves — but it is immense.
The labour to bring this “baby” into the world took some time. As I held it in my hands, flipping through the pages brimming with my words and the photos and art of my husband Michael and my eldest Everette, I knew it was worth every minute of the hard work it took to get here.
I did this, despite the advice I was offered by another established writer I respect that maybe I should spend more time honing my craft and then, at some point down the road, seek a traditional publisher.
It was likely good advice. But I didn’t listen to it. Still, those words played over and over in my head as I pushed forward with the book. I did my best to quell those nagging fears. I was determined to not get in my way as I’ve done so often in the past.
When I told a friend, who is also a great writer about this, she considered the sage advice and then asked me, “Why is it so important to you to get your book published now?”
I didn’t have a solid answer. But I liked the question (more than the advice!) and wanted to explore it more.
I decided to do an interview with myself to dig a little deeper into this obsession I’ve had for the past few years. I often talk to myself. Maybe this time I’ll listen!
As the pandemic wound down, you realized you had written a lot of poems. When did the idea take hold that you were going to put these into a book?
I continued writing poems but didn’t really have a platform for sharing them. I joined an online writing community, called the Story Republic, and this opened the door for me to write and share more poems using the weekly prompts. My co-writers in SR were really supportive and I kind of became the community’s unofficial poet laureate. A few people in the community were also self-publishing so the idea started to form. I had a body of work. Maybe this was possible.
Did you consider trying to get a traditional publisher?
Of course, we all do. That’s the ultimate dream right? But then I really started to lean into the idea of creating this “little book of poems” my way. My husband Michael is a brilliant graphic designer, artist, and photographer, and my eldest, Everette, is also an outstanding artist. So, I had a great team to make this first foray into the world of publishing something beautiful. And that’s really been my goal from the start — create something beautiful. That was an outtake of the pandemic for sure. During those days I was always looking for beauty around my wilderness home but also, more broadly, in the people I met and the experiences I had through some of my volunteer and advocacy work, one of which was Kenora Moving Forward. Here, we were supporting people living on the streets, who were having an especially difficult time during the pandemic. It’s hard to isolate when you have no place to go. Yet, despite this, I was amazed at the resilience and community I observed. I found beauty in this too.
How did you arrive at the book’s title?
Somewhere Home was my eldest’s suggestion once they had read some of the early poems in the collection. The idea that I was searching for home and belonging during the dark days of isolation of the pandemic and the days that followed really spoke to them. It was unusual and I loved it — but learned quite late in the process there was a book with the same title written some time ago by the author Nada Awar Jarrar. At that point, I was pretty invested emotionally in the title so decided to add “My” to distinguish my book. Now that I see it in print, I worry a little that people may think it’s a memoire — which it isn’t. But the poems are deeply personal so I guess it is what it is.
How did you vet the work to ensure it would hold up?
That was really important to me. I sent the manuscript out to a variety of readers — a few poets, a writer from Story Republic, and other writers of various experience. I tried to choose people who didn’t love me too much, although made the exception with my long time mentor and friend Rene. I’d also vetted poems regularly through SR and the Kenora Writer’s Group.
What did your beta readers have to say about your poems?
It was very positive. Rene, who was again, a mentor to me early in my writing career, sat me down and made me repeat over and over “I am a poet.”
Michelle, a reader from SR, wrote this about the collection’s title poem “Somewhere Home”:
“This has depth…and breadth. It resonates madly with me, one who has had more homes than most. Underlying meaning for me? Sometimes we let our roots stunt our wings. This version of the poem tells me you’re using the roots as a springboard, not as an anchor.”
What misgivings did you have — or still have?
My doubts are the same that we all have as writers and creators: Is this good enough? Will it speak to people? Will it make a difference in the lives of some of my readers?
How did or will you overcome those doubts?
Now that I’m holding the book in my hands, I know I created what I wanted to create and it’s a beautiful thing because of the collaboration with Michael and Everette, and the tremendous feedback from my early readers. I had some pretty stern talks with myself to try and set reasonable expectations for how this all might go. I know my poems won’t be for everyone. I’m constantly evolving as a poet, but I had set a point of no return, which again, helped me keep moving toward the end goal of publication. I really am focused now on making the launches fun and energizing and an opportunity to bring together “my people.” That might be those who know and love me but I also hope it’s people who can see themselves in these words and take away something from some of the struggles and joys I’ve written about. I ultimately want to connect with my readers as I hand them their signed copy. The book deals with my journey through isolation and depression so making meaningful connections around that is really important to me and for what I hope for my readers as well. It’s the light that I’m drawing on to move forward, despite my fears and misgivings.
What do you hope your book gives to your readers?
One of my good friends from SR, Garry, had this to say and it really captures what I hope people might take away from the book: that many of us find our way home through doors we didn’t expect. I learned this during the pandemic when I was terribly isolated due to all of my family being in other provinces and us being new in a very tight knit community (we weren’t in any one’s bubble). I know these are feelings many of us experience in normal times, when we feel alone, or are experiencing issues like depression, mental illness, homelessness, marginalization, and racism. I did my best to capture how I experienced some of these things and what I observed as a poet, advocate, and humanitarian. But I think another friend, one of my acquaintances from the street community, Trajan, who sadly, passed away earlier this year, said it best (his words appear on page 82)…
We can move as one,
as long as we have each other
to hold onto,
together we are home.
It’s a place we belong.
Hold my hand and see what I see.
—Trajan Loon (1999-2026)
You’re foregoing putting the book on Amazon. Many would say that’s not a good business decision. What are your thoughts on this?
As an entrepreneur and small business owner myself, I’m a fierce advocate of small, local businesses and really hope to see my book in locally owned bookstores and markets vs. the massive Amazon empire. That’s my choice, and I know it’s not for everyone. Because this really is my book baby that was made with a lot of love, I want to put personally signed copies in people’s hands. And, as I mentioned above, I hope to bring people together in community to experience the book and each other. I know that all sounds a little naive and crazy but it’s what my heart is telling me and for now, I’m listening to that.
Many put their dreams on hold during challenging times. What kept you moving forward?
Thanks to my friend, Jacquie for this question. She knows the struggles I’ve had over the past few years with my father becoming ill and passing away and my mother also facing serious illness. Writing poems and moving forward with this dream is what kept me going. The fact that I could share poems I’d written through grief and turmoil weekly with my SR friends and monthly with my local writing group in Kenora, helped lift me out of the depths of my sorrow and despair. I couldn’t be more grateful for all the people who walked with me and gently pushed me along during some of the toughest days of my life.
Why this particular book at this particular moment?
This question from my friend Sabah echoes the query that started all this. It’s definitely the one I’ve asked myself over and over. Once I made the decision to publish, I tried not to look back and to keep moving forward. I was inspired by the small glimmers of hope I saw when some of the people struggling with life on the streets found belonging (although sadly, rarely housing) through the outreach we were doing with Kenora Moving Forward. Those people taught me so much in terms of valuing all the experiences of home I’ve had in my life. This book really grew out of that and is written with deep gratitude to them. Seeing how so many people have struggled with the idea of home and belonging is what made me want to finish this book and put it into the world.
As I wrote in the afterword, it really is about discovering how home is more than four walls and a roof over our heads.
Final question. How do you see the world through lens of poetry?
Thank you for this question! I write a lot of things – articles, short stories, fiction, etc. – but there really is a sense of coming home when I write poetry, so I guess that is what trickled into the collection. During the pandemic and the difficult years that followed, poetry was the one place I felt I could always land safely without many of the perimeters I felt in other forms of writing. Some readers of my poems – and I’m sure some poets – might say I should spend more time thinking about the more formal aspects of poetry writing, but that’s just not where my inspiration lies right now. I am constantly working at honing my craft through workshops and reading and sharing. And I guess that’s how poetry has helped me see the world — as a constant work in progress where we get to choose how and where we show up and how we want to participate.
If you’d like to read more about the book and how to get your personally signed copy, details are here.
And if you want to hear a poem, here’s me reading one of my rare rhyming poems on a windy day at home!
